Only in America
Florida
- Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed. Georgia
- In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross a road.
- It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the
shades are down.
Illinois
- According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially
recognised language is "American".
- In Joliet, it is illegal to mispronounce the name Joliet.
Indiana
- Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
- In Gary, it is illegal to attend the theatre within four hours of eating
garlic.
Oklahoma
- People who make ``ugly faces'' at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
- City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful To put any
hypnotised person in a display window.
Tennessee
- It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
Utah
- Birds have the right of way on all highways.
- A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife
while she is in his presence.
- In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
- It is against the law to fish from horseback.
Wisconsin
- In St. Croix, women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
- It is illegal to cut a woman's hair.
- It is illegal to kiss on a train.
- Cheese making requires a cheese maker's license; Limburger cheese making
requires a master cheese maker's license.
Pennsylvania:
In certain sections of Pennsylvania many years ago, the Farmer's
Anti-Automobile society set up some "rules of the road." In effect, they
Said:
"Automobiles travelling on country roads at night must send up a rocket
Every mile, then wait ten minutes for the road to clear."
"If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the Road
and cover his machine with a blanket or dust cover that has been Painted to
blend into the scenery."
"In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner Must
take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes."
Ohio:
- In Bexley, Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation
and Usage of slot machines in outhouses.
Kansas:
- No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
California:
- In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding
Roosters to crow within the city limits.
In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate
Limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is
Unacquainted."
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same
Time.
In Zion, Ill., It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs,
Cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants
That do not match.
In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink
Beer from a bucket.
In Hartford, Conn., You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on
Your hands.
In Baltimore, it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window
Within the city limits. It's also illegal to take a lion to the movies.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while
Standing in front of a man's picture.
In Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in Public
(includes legs and face).
In Pennsylvania it is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house Together
because that constitutes a brothel...however up to 120 men can Live
together, without breaking the law.
In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her Husband's
permission.
In New York, it is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for
Fun.
The state of Washington has passed a law stating it is illegal, I repeat,
Illegal, to paint polka dots on the American flag.
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle in Connecticut,
It must bounce.
To keep any of the incarcerated beast from picking up bad habits, the town
Of Manville , NJ decreed that it is illegal to feed whiskey or offer
Cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
If you sell hollow logs in Tennessee, you are breaking the law.
Compulsive gamblers stay out of Richmond, VA: it is even illegal to flip a
Coin in a restaurant to see who pays for the coffee.
Don't bother the butterflies in Pacific Grove, CA unless you have a n extra
$500 for the offence.
The same is true for bullfrogs and cottontails in Hayden, AZ. Disturbing
Them in the city limits is against the law.
Have it your way, but don't share it in OK. This state forbids a person From
taking a bite out of another person's hamburger.
Need a radio on Sunday? In Spokane, WA, you can buy one on the Sabbath, but
Forget about purchasing a television!
In the state of New York, you need a license to use a clothesline outdoors.
And if any retirees from the circus are thinking about settling down and
Farming in NC, they are forewarned right here and now that it is against the
Law in this state to use elephants to plow cotton fields!
It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
Two people cannot kiss in front of a church.
All Public Displays of Affection (pdas) are forbidden on Sunday.
Pedestrians always have the right of way.
Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at
Any time except Sundays.
In Calgary there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires
Businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses.
In Clawson, Mich., There is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep
With his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless
Gown.
In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the
Act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
In Harford, Conn., You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on
Your hands.
In Nicholas County, W. Va., No member of the clergy is allowed to tell Jokes
or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of
A tavern, school, or place of worship.
In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather
Belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his
Wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.
In Kentucky, "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway Within
this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless She be
armed with a club"
An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statute Shall
not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 Pounds,
nor shall it apply to female horses."
In Grand Haven, Michigan, no person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt Into
any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine For each
offence.
In Russell, Kansas, it is against the law to have a musical car horn.
A Glendale, California, ordinance permits horror films to be shown only on
Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays.
Cicero, Illinois, prohibits humming on public streets on Sundays.
Hunting with a rifle is permitted in Norfolk County, Virginia - provided
That the hunter is fifteen feet off the ground.
You may water your lawn on Staten Island, New York, provided that you hold
The hose in your hand while doing so; but to lay a hose on the lawn or to
Use a sprinkler for watering your lawn is unlawful.
Clinton County, Ohio, calls for a fine for anyone caught leaning against a
Public building.
Loins may not be taken to the theatre in Maryland.
Abilene, Texas, makes it illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the
Corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
In Waco It is illegal to walk around with a concealed ice cream cone.
In Carmel, CA, it is illegal to eat ice cream while standing on the side
Walk.
In Prunedale, CA, it is illegal to have two indoor bathtubs in your house.
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or
fishing on your wedding day.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions,
or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests,
law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to
take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding
you in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of
the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're
nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin
beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple
rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor
between the beds!
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each
guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are
married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they
are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having
sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master,
not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There
was a civil-service job -- for men only -- called a corset inspector.)
However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets
because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a
young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers
aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer
who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn
three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car
to investigate.
Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table
in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of
clothing.
Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful
urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are
frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked
vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has
drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you can't
parachute on Sunday afternoons.
Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio -- a
man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the
boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a
sexual misdemeanour and "her name is to be published in the local
newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
Chris Lyth (Clyth@)
Take it easy, we're in a hurry.
Florida
- Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed. Georgia
- In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross a road.
- It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the
shades are down.
Illinois
- According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially
recognised language is "American".
- In Joliet, it is illegal to mispronounce the name Joliet.
Indiana
- Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
- In Gary, it is illegal to attend the theatre within four hours of eating
garlic.
Oklahoma
- People who make ``ugly faces'' at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
- City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful To put any
hypnotised person in a display window.
Tennessee
- It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
Utah
- Birds have the right of way on all highways.
- A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife
while she is in his presence.
- In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
- It is against the law to fish from horseback.
Wisconsin
- In St. Croix, women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
- It is illegal to cut a woman's hair.
- It is illegal to kiss on a train.
- Cheese making requires a cheese maker's license; Limburger cheese making
requires a master cheese maker's license.
Pennsylvania:
In certain sections of Pennsylvania many years ago, the Farmer's
Anti-Automobile society set up some "rules of the road." In effect, they
Said:
"Automobiles travelling on country roads at night must send up a rocket
Every mile, then wait ten minutes for the road to clear."
"If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the Road
and cover his machine with a blanket or dust cover that has been Painted to
blend into the scenery."
"In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner Must
take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes."
Ohio:
- In Bexley, Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation
and Usage of slot machines in outhouses.
Kansas:
- No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
California:
- In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding
Roosters to crow within the city limits.
In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate
Limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is
Unacquainted."
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same
Time.
In Zion, Ill., It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs,
Cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants
That do not match.
In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink
Beer from a bucket.
In Hartford, Conn., You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on
Your hands.
In Baltimore, it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window
Within the city limits. It's also illegal to take a lion to the movies.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while
Standing in front of a man's picture.
In Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in Public
(includes legs and face).
In Pennsylvania it is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house Together
because that constitutes a brothel...however up to 120 men can Live
together, without breaking the law.
In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her Husband's
permission.
In New York, it is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for
Fun.
The state of Washington has passed a law stating it is illegal, I repeat,
Illegal, to paint polka dots on the American flag.
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle in Connecticut,
It must bounce.
To keep any of the incarcerated beast from picking up bad habits, the town
Of Manville , NJ decreed that it is illegal to feed whiskey or offer
Cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
If you sell hollow logs in Tennessee, you are breaking the law.
Compulsive gamblers stay out of Richmond, VA: it is even illegal to flip a
Coin in a restaurant to see who pays for the coffee.
Don't bother the butterflies in Pacific Grove, CA unless you have a n extra
$500 for the offence.
The same is true for bullfrogs and cottontails in Hayden, AZ. Disturbing
Them in the city limits is against the law.
Have it your way, but don't share it in OK. This state forbids a person From
taking a bite out of another person's hamburger.
Need a radio on Sunday? In Spokane, WA, you can buy one on the Sabbath, but
Forget about purchasing a television!
In the state of New York, you need a license to use a clothesline outdoors.
And if any retirees from the circus are thinking about settling down and
Farming in NC, they are forewarned right here and now that it is against the
Law in this state to use elephants to plow cotton fields!
It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
Two people cannot kiss in front of a church.
All Public Displays of Affection (pdas) are forbidden on Sunday.
Pedestrians always have the right of way.
Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at
Any time except Sundays.
In Calgary there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires
Businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses.
In Clawson, Mich., There is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep
With his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless
Gown.
In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the
Act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
In Harford, Conn., You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on
Your hands.
In Nicholas County, W. Va., No member of the clergy is allowed to tell Jokes
or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of
A tavern, school, or place of worship.
In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather
Belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his
Wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.
In Kentucky, "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway Within
this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless She be
armed with a club"
An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statute Shall
not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 Pounds,
nor shall it apply to female horses."
In Grand Haven, Michigan, no person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt Into
any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine For each
offence.
In Russell, Kansas, it is against the law to have a musical car horn.
A Glendale, California, ordinance permits horror films to be shown only on
Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays.
Cicero, Illinois, prohibits humming on public streets on Sundays.
Hunting with a rifle is permitted in Norfolk County, Virginia - provided
That the hunter is fifteen feet off the ground.
You may water your lawn on Staten Island, New York, provided that you hold
The hose in your hand while doing so; but to lay a hose on the lawn or to
Use a sprinkler for watering your lawn is unlawful.
Clinton County, Ohio, calls for a fine for anyone caught leaning against a
Public building.
Loins may not be taken to the theatre in Maryland.
Abilene, Texas, makes it illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the
Corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
In Waco It is illegal to walk around with a concealed ice cream cone.
In Carmel, CA, it is illegal to eat ice cream while standing on the side
Walk.
In Prunedale, CA, it is illegal to have two indoor bathtubs in your house.
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or
fishing on your wedding day.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions,
or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests,
law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to
take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding
you in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of
the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're
nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin
beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple
rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor
between the beds!
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each
guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are
married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they
are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having
sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master,
not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There
was a civil-service job -- for men only -- called a corset inspector.)
However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets
because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a
young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers
aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer
who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn
three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car
to investigate.
Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table
in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of
clothing.
Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful
urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are
frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked
vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has
drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you can't
parachute on Sunday afternoons.
Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio -- a
man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the
boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a
sexual misdemeanour and "her name is to be published in the local
newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
Chris Lyth (Clyth@)
Take it easy, we're in a hurry.