Doctor Who Humour

Hello my little darlings,

I just popped into the local library to get out a couple of Catherine Cookson's, the latest Harry Potter book and a copy of Last Tango In Paris, when I found this humorous little thing in a Doctor Who comedy book...

Write your own Jon Pertwee Story

Just choose one sentence from each section and - Hai! - it's all yours...

Sentence One

The Doctor is...

a) Stranded on Earth.

b) On Earth because he feels like it.

c) On his way to Metebelis 3.

d) At a wine and cheese party.

His companion is...

a) Stupid, but independent.

b) Very Stupid, but quite independent.

c) Really stupid, and a bit independent.

d) A spaced-out Cambridge Graduate.

Sentence Two

The Problem is...

a) A strange object which glows.

b) A strange poacher who glows.

c) A poacher who dies, but isn't strange.

d) A poacher who finds a glowing sandwich.

The Doctor, however...

a) Is too busy fixing the dematerialisation circuit.

b) Is too busy stirring tea with a test tube.

c) Is in the shower.

d) Is on Metebelis 3 with a test tube.

Sentence Three

Just then...

a) A government officila turns up and orders toast.

b) Lots of people go missing.

c) Liz hallucinates about giant reptiles.

d) Liz hallucinates about giant toast.

And the Doctor

a) Tells him to 'see some sense, man'.

b) Tells him to 'talk to them, man'.

c) Tells him not to use the butter

d) Tells him to 'Pith off'.

Sentence Four

Meanwhile the Brigadier...

a) Has blown them all up anyway.

b) Has talked on the phone.

c) Has set up a mobile HQ in the sheep dip.

d) Has asked Liz for some party smarties.

Then the villain is revealed to be...

a) The Master.

b) The Master.

c) The Master

d) Barry Letts.

Sentence Five

To save the universe, the Doctor...

a) Reverses the polarity of the neutron flow.

b) Blows up the research centre.

c) Bores them all with a moralistic speech.

d) Plays them 'Three Little Fishes'.

Then everyone

a) Has a dance.

b) Has a laugh.

c) has a pint.

d) Orders a fresh round of toast.



Well, that was amusing wasn't it! Well, I hope to all see you sometime soon.

Goodbye my dears

Auntie Doris

Your email address says a lot about you.
Express yourself @ another.com

[Lots of Random Stuff Snipped]

Thank you, Adam. Cue much merriment and probable (or improbable, depending
on your point of view) replies, as innumerable people send in other "Story
Kits" (Star Trek, Blake's Seven, Battlestar Galactica and the A-Team, to
name but a few).

Personally, I liked the bit right at the end. You know, the bit that the
mail compnay adds to all e-mails sent out to advertise it's presence. This
one says; "Your e-mail address says a lot about you..." In this case, the
e-mail address in question was auntie_doris @ dropdeadgorgeous. Now, what
does that say about our resident Doctor Who fan(atic)? Amateur Freudism on a
postcard to the usual address please...

=$-)

Who still can't get a job to save his life, much less hold one down...

Yes, but Adam *is* drop dead gorgeous, as are you my darling...

Iz

PS Sorry but there is a dearth of people to flirt with in Warwickshire...large number of wenches though....
Psst...we're gonna destroy the world...wanna come?

Be whoever you want to be with another.com
Just click here:

BTW DW Quiz - I got #4 wrong - the obvious link between Paul McGann (8th
Doctor), Brian Glover (Russel) and The Ringmaster (Ricco Ross) is of course
the Alien films. Thanks to Matt for that. Is the DVD set worth getting ?

And for the answer 2 Androgums is derived from Gourmands (Fomasi/Mafiosa)

Could do with an assist on 5 & 6....

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Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
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Ah, Izzy, my red-haired beauty, what ever will we do without you?

And welcome to another round of IFIS flirt, ladies and gentlemen. Well,
there's nothing else happening, is there?
Wenches? Sounds like my kind of place. Does that include you, my dear?
Ooooo. Destruction of the world. Hands up if anybody will miss it. Anybody?
Right, then. The world will end at 5:30pm Friday. That leaves the weekend
free. Don't miss it!

Sadly not this year, it's a case of been there, done that, have incriminating photos....
WAHHHH....if we're going to watch the world end I want tortilla chips and icecream (the snack food with 100 uses)


Damn I miss Thursday nights....

Iz

Psst...we're gonna destroy the world...wanna come?

Be whoever you want to be with another.com
Just click here:

Been there, done that, reduced Manchester to a smoking hole in the Ground -
everything that's happened there since is just an illusion.

BTW Total DVD quotes Warner UK as saying they're very keen to do R2 Babylon
5 DVDs by the end of the year....


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Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
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Bring along so we can put them on the ifis website and show them to
people at the freshers fair... I'm sure they'll help to attract lots of
new memebers... even more if you wear the dress *8)
can't we destroy it after reading (gathering for other people)? Want to
see brian M in a dress and lots of other cool bands (and I'm sure lots of
IFIS want to go around hitting people with swords that weekend aswell).
...102 uses


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This tagline has been cruelly tested on cute furry animals.

"Let me try on your dress, it turns me on when we're a mess...
We won't live forever now, so let's make the most of it somehow"

nothing@

Why thank you my sweetie, one gets so few compliments these days (sob sob,
lonely single life sob, sob...). I've never actually thought of myself as
drop dead gorgeous!)

Adam

"I am a woman! Not a Do-It-Yourself kit!" - Hattie Jacques, Carry On Matron

I've got several of the other Make your own Dr Who story stuff somewhere -
can;t remember which book they're in though !

BTW For this months quiz 1 is America, 2 is corruptions of real names and 3
is the London underground. 4 might be to do with the film Kes.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk
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[Make your own Doctor Who Story]
No I've remembered where they were - in various 1986 issues of CT/Tardis.
What book had them in ?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk
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Well, I found the Jon Pertwee one in "Licence Denied" by Paul Cornell.

Auntie Doris

Your email address says a lot about you.
Express yourself @ another.com

CT/Tardis.
Which is a compilation of various fan written material. I've got the
Davison one somewhere - shall I send it thee ?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-