MY RESPONSES TO THE WHOLE OF JANUARY'S CHAT AND MY GENERAL THEORY ON SEX IN IFIS

Oh dear, looks like my absence from chat land has meant that IFIS chat has
descended into chaos. OK, bascially I've just read January's archives and
so now I shall deal with all of January sequentially from 1 Jan 2000 which
IS the new millenium date by the way.

BTW When you read my general theory later on, remember, its light hearted
and not serious. I've just humourosly applied microeconomic theory to it
and treated it as an economic model. Just for a laugh.

Looks like I've been talked about a lot in chat...I've been reading the
archives you see.

OK, Jen Lyon...you seemed a bit perplexed by a blank E-mail a bit
back...bascially I sent a blank message one day to IFIS chat because I
thought I was recieving IFIS chat and wanted to test out my theory.

To anyone interested...The tag line on the blank E-mail that caused so much
confusion and rather worryingly a cook the publicity person campaign, is a
line from the lyrics of Barcelona by Freddy Mercury and that opera signer.
Its kind of cheesy so I have removed it as default signature and put a
better one on.

OK, my tag lines, I have several. I mostly take them songs. I do have one
orignial one though but I save that for triple A E-mails.

Furthermore, what is going on with you guys, every other chat seems to be
about me. Even something like happy new millennium caused pandamonium in
chat land.

Moreover looking at Chat so far it seems as if I've intiated most of the
Chat topics here. Most digressions can normally be traced back to my
announces in January. Cool I say :o)

Ahhhh now to the bit I resigned up to chat specially for...Sex In IFIS...

Here is my Theory as to why so many sexy IFIS ladies are single at the
moment.

ANT'S FIRST GENERAL THEORY ON IFIS, SEX IN IFIS AND RELATIONSHIPS IN IFIS

Are we not forgetting the fact that there are PEOPLE outside of IFIS. I
know at least 25 ELIGABLE laides outside of IFIS, and back home in Croydon I
know loads. You guys make it seem like IFIS is the Universe where the total
population (N) approximates to about 200. Of course if an arbitrary ratio
of females to males is maintained at 1/5 then it doesn't take a genius to
figure out that economically IFIS girls have the luxury of choice and excess
supply of males. So lets make it more interesting and factor out all the
'grim' guys. I'd say our arbitrary ratio now becomes 1/2. So what does
this mean? It means contray to what you think, there is not a massive
excess supply of IFIS males (where we define IFIS males in a similar way as
the workforce i.e. the proporiton of the population eligble for work or in
this case eligable to compte for IFIS female attention effectively. We will
assume that it is not suffcient and efficient to be single. The eligability
of each IFIS male is dependent on many things such as looks, style,
chraisma, intellegence,...,coolness and once the eligability value of an
IFIS male exceeds some critical value assigned arbitarily as myself then and
only then they can be considered eligable). Rather a symmetrical
(information is assumed to be symmetrical given the geographical
concentration of such a small population N) finite (the length of occupation
in IFIS) game now emerges in which each girl is courted by 2 boys. We can
now solve the game in that there will be a very short time that an IFIS girl
is single and there does exist sufficient supply of elibable males in the
long run (ceteris paribus) to ensure that IFIS girls are not single for
long. This is MY general observed pattern in IFIS i.e. looking around at
interpersonal behaviour vis-a-vis IFIS ladies. Therefore we find another
school of thought where instead of IFIS ladies being able to choose from a
large pool of IFIS males, we find that in fact they choose form a very
selective pool of IFIS males and DO ACTUALLY date within IFIS. Any single
IFIS ladies are purely coincidental when this model is in equilibirum.

But we can get even more precise here...Lets now factor out males in
exogenous relationships i.e. those who have girlfriends/boyfriends outside
of IFIS and those who are not interetsed in dating IFIS females. Then I
would think that our ratio of IFIS girls to IFIS boys becomes 1. So how
come all the foxy IFIS girls aren't dating? Well this is where Simon's
theory comes from. Simon thinks that IFIS girls do not have any IFIS male
they want because all IFIS males are grim. However, if we go on the 1:1
ratio as derived above then we find that the fact that the foxy IFIS girls
are single is down to allocation problems. This occurs when several IFIS
males are after the same IFIS lady. Thus this skews the 1:1 distribution so
one lady gets an extra boy belonging to another IFIS lady.

My point and rather hopeful policy reccomendations: IFIS should form a
relationships committee and deliver effective policy measures that deliver
relationships to those worthy and beautiful enough to recevie them.

Now how about that for an interesting theory of Sex in IFIS? As you can see
I've applied my skills as an economist to this problem.

FLAME ME NOW GUYS, MY THEORY IS SOUND AND WILL STAND UP TO SECRUITINISATION.
THOSE WHO FLAME ME ARE LIKE THE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS...POINTLESS AND
DIRECTIONLESS WHO TAKE PLEASURE IN FAILING TO SHOOT DOWN THE BRILLIENT
CONSERVATIVES.

BTW Guys, joke about general theory. I just though I'd treat it as an
economic problem just for a laugh. I don't mean anything personal by it.
No hidden message or anything and no its not based on any specific person.

Digressing totally, can someone explain the fascination with leather? This
is a Sci-Fi mailing list not a bondage catalogue.

Oh my days, why do we need to use HTML tags to flirt? Actually if we're
using tags then it might be worth using: <talking bollocks> </talking
bollocks> Might be worth adding CGI elements to <flirt> to anable
/cgi-bin/interactivity. Maybe you could add a pearl script to enable
/interactivity/grope and a form to enable "get your hands off before I call
the cops". Flirt tags structured dynamically could also be fun. Then it
might be possible to flirt with every IFIS girl and get away with it by
rejeting "get your hands off" because of an invalid form parameter such as
name.

Cool I agree with with Chris Turner...we need gossip. I propose we run
regular gossip newsletters for distribution at IFIS functions. Gossippees
can actually contribute to it. I bags editor.

Well I say! I hereby stand amazed at your chat antics. You guys had the
cheek to flame me when I talked about football. So I think that I am at
least allowed to say MAN UNITED CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE AND THE BEST TEAM EVER
without being flamed back or without any response from anyone about football
given that MOST of you in January alone have broken the chat rules which I
strictly adhere to now. By the way, don't try and say this is E-mail is not
chat because I am flamming you all for talking such irrellevant bollocks
(BTW can I say bollocks?)

Catch ya later.

Oh yes, anyone who gets bored at Akira might like to wander down to
Holloways to 8pm. I will be taking on ALL COMMERS.

Anthony Beschizza
Emperor

As a light hearted theory, it failed simply by being unfunny, and your
spelling sucks.

Byee

Chris

I know, I couldn't be bothered to spell check...who does?-actually don't
answer that.

Well come on, I'm an economist. It was funny in an economists way. But
thanks for reading it. Hey do you want me to knock you up a RAV article
tonight. I have one drafted and all I need to do is change a few things
around if you want it. Its a publicity review.

Was that Byee intentioanlly spelt with to e's or does you're spelling suck
to? If it does then join the club.

Well, I thought it was really funny!!!

And the gossip newsletters sound fun! Alex and I made a chart that
shows most of the IFIS regulars and most of Gamesoc, and who fancies who and
who's going out and stuff. We made it in a lecture, and it looks like the
most tangulated mess ever! Basically on it, everyone fancies everyone
except the people that fancy them, unless they are going out. So that's why
there are lots of single people!!! And by the way, nobody's allowed to see
it because it's a secret!!!!

Charlotte

Hmm... Life's a bitch, innit... ;-)

Later!

Gordan

Aaaaaww. Please, please, pretty please with sugar on top.

Adam

Cummins ARJ said:
Want to send in a scan for the website?

No, seriously, even if you deliberately censored the names on it, it would
be quite funny just to see what a tangled web it was!

Incidentally, this is definitely NOT the first time anyone has made a
diagram of this kind for IFIS members... but no, the last one never got
scanned either.

Does your diagram just have who "fancies" who and who's "going out with"
who, or does it have HATE relationships on it too? They're quite
interesting... "A fancies B, but B is going out with C, so A hates C. Also
D, who likes A, hates B for what he's doing to A", etc.

---

Nick Waterman. Senior Systems Administrator, Sony Interactive Services
mailto:nick-sig@ http://www.nilex.co.uk/~nick/
AX25:G7RZQ@#32.GBR.EU #include <stddisclaimer> Team *AMIGA*!
"Ah. Philosophy," said Om. -- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

On Thu, 27 Jan 2000, Nick Waterman wrote:
But if you censor the names - how will we know that it is a true and
accurate. I doubt Charlotte & Alex know all our dodgy little secrets.
And what about past relationships - X loved Y, but now hates them or
whatever.

Given how often things seem to be changing around here, it might just be
easier to just have a computer generate a new copy once a day?

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

Chris Turner said:
[snip]
Hmmmm... Now you've got me thinking! I'm seriously tempted to write
something that'll survey all ifis members (or those who can be bothered to
answer), with a pretty web survey, then collect all the answers, anonymise
them, and generate a pretty chart/graph/table/something out of it all. This
could probably be updated fairly often, automatically, perhaps even
real-time as people submit and/or change their answers.

Problem 1: How do you completely anonymise this all?

I could COMPLETELY anonymise the chart so you don't even know who YOU are on
the chart, but then it's not actually that interesting to anyone, and nobody
would be interested in keeping it up-to-date.

An obvious answer might be to remove everyone's names from the chart and
replace them with numbers ("I am not a number! I'm a free man!"), and
arrange it (email maybe, password-protected login, etc) so that you know
what YOUR number is, but don't know anyone else's unless they were foolish
enough to tell you. If you're allowed to change your answers though (which
surely you NEED to be able to do once in a while as your opinions change),
you could easily break the system by saying "OK, I'll pretend that I really
hate person X, then go and look at the chart and see which new number I now
hate, then go back and change my answer again".

If I use a bit more clever web technology, I could generate a different
graph for every person. Instead of giving everybody numbers, I could have a
box labelled "YOU", and leave all the other boxes blank, but again, by
changing your answers around a bit you could gradually work out who's who.

The most obvious fix for this would be to allow people to change their
answers as often as they want, but only update the chart once a week, or
once a fortnight, maybe as long as once a month. It will then not be worth
"fiddling your answers" for a whole month just to find out who one person
is, hopefully? so...

Problem 2: How often should it be updated?

If it's too infrequently, then it'll quickly get out-of-date as people
start/finish relationships. If it's too frequent, it'll be open to the kind
of abuse I've already mentioned, where people will be tempted to "fake" a
relationship to try to work out who's who on the anonymised chart.

Problem 3: What IS the best way of displaying this anyway?

A list of just "123 fancies 456" would be boring.

One way that works with computers and networks, and how they connect to each
other, is a "peering matrix", like the one at
http://tvweb1.hiway.co.uk/lonap/peering/matrix.html
This is easy for computers to generate too, of course.

Another way would be a chart of some sort with boxes for the people and
arrows of different colours for the different relationships. These are much
more difficult to generate on a computer, or at least much more difficult to
generate NEATLY, although it IS possible, and there are even programs to
help you. Might not be so easy to automate though.

Any suggestions? Should I set up a whole anonymised IFIS dating agency? (Or
is that too similar to Emporer Ant's relationships committee?) ;-)

---

Nick Waterman. Senior Systems Administrator, Sony Interactive Services
mailto:nick-sig@ http://www.nilex.co.uk/~nick/
AX25:G7RZQ@#32.GBR.EU #include <stddisclaimer> Team *AMIGA*!
quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur -- The Concuspidor

Lets merge my relationships committee with the IFIS dating agency. The
committee will be the legisilative power (like the house of commons) and the
dating agency its implementation tool (like, arbitrarily because I have to
get on to them later, the sosh).

Oh go on...why not make a little chart with real names but only with AND for
those who actually consent to being in it. It would kind of be like a fight
club where only those involved get to se the chart...blah di blah... I
consent to being in it. Could be fun. I odn't offend easily anyway and it
will be quite amusing to see who the editor of the chart thinks I fancy...
Any other takers for the chart?

PS Opps about my reply to Mr. Turner with the body as "top form". In future
I'll delete the rest of me so you can get the best of me (ooh baby).

Laters
VIVA the Staines Massive
Anthony

On Thu, 27 Jan 2000, Anthony Beschizza wrote:
Just what exactly would this "committee" do? Decide if X & Y are suitable
to go out? Or is this a cunning ploy to set yourself up with a string of
attractive IFIS women? *8)
Well much as I think it'd be amusing to have real names in the chart, I'd
imagine it'd scare most people away from using it. And those that did,
wouldn't fill in all their juicy details.

How about not naming names at all and just listing numbers, like Charlotte
is doing with her map. So you'd get something along the lines of...

Chris Turner has the following relationships:
loves 1 person
dislikes 3 people
etc...

And then, you'd just query individual people rather than seeing the whole
thing. You'd have a hard time working out who the numbers are refering
to, because you'd have to firstly know who was in the "system" and you'd
be hard pressed to find one coupling of a certain type (once plenty of
people had filled in their details - obviously).
<bitchy>
You gonna supply the electron microscope so we can see it too? *8)
<bitchy>
Does anyone else feel like running away, screaming in terror? *8)

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

Chris Turner wrote:
It would make and interesting logic problem for those
suitably inclined to see just how many solutions there
would be.

Darren

REPLIES IN CAPSLOCK - EASIER TO READ
YES...IT WOULD TAKE ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND MATCH THEM WITH OTHER
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. IN TIME I MAY IMPLEMENT A DIVISION 2 COMMITTEE FOR ALL
THOSE GRIM PEOPLE, BUT WE'RE ONLY INTERESTED IN PREMIER LEAGUE BEAUTIFUL
PEOPLE FOR NOW.
EVEN BETTER. ASYMMETIRC INFORMATION WOULD MAKE THE CHART THE SENSATIONALIST
STUFF YOU FIND IN THE SUN NEWSPAPER...ACTUALLY IT WOULD MAKE A GREAT RWAV
ARTICLE!!!! CENTER PAGE SPREAD!!!!! IN COLOUR!!!!!!!!!!! CHRIS LYTH, GET
BUSY...
BORING!!!
YOU ONLY LOVE PERSON? I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIVE :O)
I'VE JUST CORRCETED YOUR BITCHY TAGS BTW
OH GOOD GRIEF, HAVE ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY SEEN ALI G?

-------------------
Anthony Beschizza

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

On Fri, 28 Jan 2000, Anthony Beschizza wrote:
No - it just makes you look like an idiot SHOUTING in a quiet room.
Thankfully due to the wonders of technology I can turn the volume down a
bit. *8)
Thats such a noble act - letting the others have their chance whilst you
wait patiently for your own division 2 to start *8).
But you'd get hardly any links in it. People would be afraid of putting up
who they fancy for fear of reprisals.
Boring, but it'd work. And all the information would still be stored if we
ever wanted to do some other form of graph/chart.
The above is purely an example. What is wrong with loving only one person
anyhow? If that one person is providing you with all the love & affection
you require, you don't need to go looking elsewhere for someone else.
I've seen him - wasn't particular impressed. The fact you model yourself on
someone whose whole life is one big joke doesn't bare thinking about *P).

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

AGAIN REPLIES IN CAPS - EASIER TO READ

FIRST OF ALL THE WEIGH IN:

BESCHIZZA: 9ST
CHEST: SMOOTH
REACH: ALL OF ANT LAND

TURNER: ?ST UNLESS HE WANTS TO FILL IT IN
CHEST: I'M NOT INTO THAT SORT OF THING THANK YOU.
REACH: NOT AS LONG AS ANT'S

NOW TO THE ACTION. WE JOIN IT IN THE 5TH. TURNER DELIVERED A HEAVY BLOW IN
THE 4TH BUT CAN BESCHIZZA BOUNCE BACK IN THE 5TH. IT MAY VERY WELL GO TO
POINTS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IN WHICH CASE BESCHIZZA HAS BRIBED ALL THE
JUDGES SO HE'LL WIN. TURNER NEEDS A KNOCK OUT PUNCH SOON. CAN HE DO IT?
WE SHALL SEE...
I WIPE MY ARSE WITH NETTIQUTE
NO YOU MISUNDERSTAND. I AM THE MESAURE. ANYONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS ME OR MORE
BEAUTIFUL GETS INTO THE PREMIER LEAGUE. THE REST CAN STAY IN THE 2ND
DIVISION. OCASSIONALLY SOMEONE WILL BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES THAT MAKES THEM
LOOK GOOD AND EARN A PROMOTION TO THE PREMIER LEAGUE OF BEAUTIFUL POEPLE AT
THE EXPENSE OF SOMEONE IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE WHO HAS...WELL...LET THEMSELVES
GO A BIT. INDEED ANYONE CAN MAKE IT TO THE PREMIER LEAGUE WITH GURANTEED
GIRLS IF THEY TRY.
PART OF PROBLEM WITHIN IFIS BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE CIRLCES IS THE DISTORTED
INFORMATION VIS-A-VIS WHO FANCIES WHO. A CHART WOULD MERELY QUICKEN THE
PROCESS OF PAIRING UP BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND THUS INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF
ENJOYMENT THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE CAN HAVE TOGETHER.
BORING!!!! AGAIN BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH A GREAT RESPONSE THE FIRST TIME. YOU
LACK A SENSE OF ADVENTURE, DUNKIRK SPIRIT SO TO SPEAK...HOW OLD ARE YOU?
30ISH? YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE 65 AND DRAWING YOUR PENSION. I THINK I'LL BUY
YOU A PIPE, SOME SLIPPERS AND A YEARS SUBSCRIPTION TO THE TELEGRAPH. NAMES
WOULD MAKE IT SO MUCH FUN. IT WOULD BE A GOOD LAUGH AND THE BEAUTIFUL
PEOPLE GET SOMETHING I AS AN ECONOMIST LUST AFTER IN EVERY MODEL (ECONOMIC
MODELS THAT IS)...PERFECT INFORMATION. THUS ENABLING BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE TO
INTERACT WITH OTHER BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND AVOID GRIM PEOPLE WHO EMERGE AS
THIER ADMIRERS VIS-A-VIS THE CART.

BTW WHAT A GREAT WORD VIS-A-VIS IS DON'T YOU AGREE?
NO, YOU NEED AT LEAST 5 GIRLS TO MAXIMISE YOUR SATISFACTION OR UTILITY AT
ANYONE TIME...ONE TO COOK YOUR MEALS, ONE TO CLEAN, ONE TO HAVE SEX WITH,
ONE TO CARRY YOUR CHILDREN AND ONE TO HOLD YOUR BEER.

BY THE WAY THAT LAST PARAGRAPH WAS A JOKE. DO YOU GET A JOKE!!!!! JOKE,
JOKE, JOKE, JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O)
ALI G ROCKS MAN. BOHYAKKASHA.

-------------------
Anthony Beschizza

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

My replies are in appropriately mixed case, with good punctuation, grammar,
and spelling, to differentiate them from the vast majority of other
posts.(*)
Then people are, on the whole, going to start ignoring you very quickly.

(*) I realise that a lot of people don't see the point in putting any effort
into writing correctly in emails, but if sloppy emails become your habit,
you'll find it rather more difficult to get people to take you seriously out
there in the real world.

You guys are supposed to be the educational elite. You're expected to have
GCSE English Language, and be capable of constructing sentences, spelling
words correctly, and using the <Shift> key on your computer.
Ok, a minor slip. The point is to make the effort. Eventually it becomes
your habit, and no real effort at all.

Dominic

"The right to be heard does not automatically include
the right to be taken seriously." [Hubert Humphrey]

In article <4F4E460F198ED311B2A700A0C9ECFBF21C1220@>, "Thomas, Dominic" <DOMINIC.THOMAS@> wrote:
some sad, stupid football fan wrote:
Too late.


Simon

---
"This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind" -Ecclesiastes 4:16

simon@ | Not affiliated to any religion
simon@ | Not affiliated to any politics
H (+44/0)1784 431998 | Not affiliated to any ideology
M (+44/0)7967 109779 (GMT/BST) | What does that make me?

Ant, the rest of this is just getting offensive. Please stop.

Iz

( "i do have feelings and so do other people")

I'm sick of all this "beautiful people" crap

Adam

Yes I concur, its ajoke people...how do you define beautiful any way. I
ARBITRARILY assigned myself as a benchmark...My definition of beautiful is
erroneous. I could just as easily have assigned Mr bean as a benchmark for
beautiful.

In that case I'd be spot on.

Adam

> > LOOK GOOD AND EARN A PROMOTION TO THE PREMIER LEAGUE OF BEAUTIFUL POEPLE
"the beautiful people, the beautiful people
its all relative to the size of your steeple
you can't see the forest for the trees
you can't smell your own sh*t on your knees
hey you, what do you see?
something beautiful, something free?"

i thought it seemed to be the ideal thing to write here *8)

Chris Turner said:
That looks pretty useless to me. Tells you none of the interesting stuff
like A fancying B who fancies C who fancies A, but unfortunately C does't
fancy B who doesn't fancy A who doesn't fancy C, etc. Tells you nothing
about A secretly fancying B and B secretly fancying A but doing nothing
about it. It tells you nothing interesting at all.
It was quite funny seeing him selling drugs outside our local iceland
though, and talking about lives being lost over who owns the swings in a
local nice country park!

---

Nick Waterman. Senior Systems Administrator, Sony Interactive Services
mailto:nick-sig@ http://www.nilex.co.uk/~nick/
AX25:G7RZQ@#32.GBR.EU #include <stddisclaimer> Team *AMIGA*!
IBM: Idealistically Backwards Microcomputers

In article <Pine.GSU.4.10.10001281353170.29497-100000@>, Chris Turner <christ@> wrote:
Chris wrote:

[...]
So if your mum is taking care of you, you don't need a girlfriend?

Or are you talking sex?


Chances are, you are *really* talking "in-love". Being in love isn't about
what you can get from the other person, it is much more about what you can
do for them. It turns out that the capacity to give love, to make someone
happy (if only they will let you) is not limited to one person at a time.
You (or at least me) can be in a happy, stable relationship with someone
that you can get on with really really well, and suddenly meet someone else
and realise that they could get on really well too. The existing happy
relationship doesn't stop you wanting to take the new person home and make
them happy for the rest of their life.

Society's rules say that those two people are now competing for your
affection. But, people, it ain't necessarily so. Look at the three of us -
together for longer than most of you have cared about sex. If anything, the
relationship is a source of cooperation, not competition. We all three take
care of each other. We want to make each other happy - and we are getting
pretty good at it.

There is an alternative, and as a few of you are starting to learn, that
alternative can work. "Ah have seen thuh laight!"


My profile in this silly thing says:-

- In love with two beautiful ladies at the moment, both of them know who
they are, and can say or not according to taste. But at least one of
them you should be able to guess. And yes, she is aware of the other. I
think she may have spotted it before I did.

- Attracted to all sorts of things, depending on mood, environment and
acreage of skin, living or dead - but all sorted for sex, so not really
bothered. When sex is sorted, love becomes far more important.
Can we say "window-shopping"? Or must we say "dirty old man"?

- loathed by several IFIS people, probably too many to be bothered
counting, especially as their obvious poor judgement makes them
unimportant ;-)

- this information is subject to change without notice: my eyes remain
open, and love doesn't last forever when it is not returned.


That last point is probably the most important: love does not last forever
when not returned. Better is to keep looking at the pretty scenery, and see
what else is about. Love comes.


ObSF: "Geta", by Donald Kingsbury; "Dahlgren" by Samuel Delaney; "The
Avatar", by Poul Anderson; "Patchwork Girl" and "The Woman in Del Ray
Crater", both by Larry Niven; a high percentage of Robert Heinlein's work,
especially the fatter books; and, as they say, "many, many more".

SF is *riddled* with polyamoury. There's also a strong and well-documented
crossover between SF fandom and polyfolks. About 1/3 of the traffic on
uk.people.polyamorous is SF-types.


And have you looked at the "group-hugs" at the Mow these days? It's not
just about teletubbies, you know. It's just the physical expression of what
Charlotte was trying (not) to describe: much of the complexity of the big
web comes from the fact that some of you are attracted to more than one.

You know who you are.

WE know who we are.

To quote Gary Oldman's character - "Be proud of what you are."



Simon

---
"This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind" -Ecclesiastes 4:16

simon@ | Not affiliated to any religion
simon@ | Not affiliated to any politics
H (+44/0)1784 431998 | Not affiliated to any ideology
M (+44/0)7967 109779 (GMT/BST) | What does that make me?

That is most certainly true!!!!
So do I.... hahahahahaha!

Charlotte

Me too ...
..... muhahahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex

=====
"I laugh in the face of danger...
...and then I run away and hide." - Xander
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger.
http://im.yahoo.com

Oh Christ, they've both gone insane with power!

Adam

On Mon, 31 Jan 2000, Cummins ARJ wrote:
I don't see why - we all know who everyone is - you just look at the
headers in the email *8). Of course working out who said what in the
email being replied to is trickier - it requires people to leave the
attribution lines (or put them back in).

Chris

We weren't referring to that.....!

have you only just noticed that?!

=====
"I laugh in the face of danger...
...and then I run away and hide." - Xander
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger.
http://im.yahoo.com

Not really but I thought I'd just draw attention to it.

Adam

oh right, I guess that's ok then.

Alex

=====
"I laugh in the face of danger...
...and then I run away and hide." - Xander
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger.
http://im.yahoo.com

Oh lordy....they've gone mad from the power....

The the world as we know it is over....
Iz

Anthony Beschizza said:
This is very provably WRONG.

Scientific evidence has proved that a sensible mixture of lower and upper
case is most easy to read, 100% lower-case is also fairly easy to read, but
100% caps is not very readable at all.

Any "beginners guide on how to use the internet" will also tell you NOT to
"SHOUT" IN CAPS ALL THE TIME. It's NOT readable, it looks like ancient
telegrams. It's a good way to get ignored, as many people will simply not
bother reading the rest of your mail.

---

Nick Waterman. Senior Systems Administrator, Sony Interactive Services
mailto:nick-sig@ http://www.nilex.co.uk/~nick/
AX25:G7RZQ@#32.GBR.EU #include <stddisclaimer> Team *AMIGA*!
Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

On Fri, 28 Jan 2000, Chris Turner wrote:
Dare I say "It takes one to know one" :-)

James

On Sat, 29 Jan 2000, James A. T. Rice wrote:
Oooh - harsh and entirely unfair. *8)

For record I have in the 7 or 8 years I've been in IFIS been serious
interested in only 1 member - hardly the actions of someone interested in
setting themselves up with a string of women. *8)

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

[large bits snipped]

You couldn't. It would all be decypherable, unless you are very lucky.
You could get cases that because you know that X likes & is going on
with Y, you could limit the number of possibilities. You could then
following the methods of deduction decide more specifically what the
possibilities are for each pair of X and Y.

I have another idea - all of you who could be asked, come up with a
method of anonymously encoding this (e.g. using a graph or a matrix as
Nick suggested). Then we can all try and break it. To make it more
interesting, we are not allowed to collaborate. Because between all of
us, we could definitely solve it, as between us we all know our
relationships with other people, this would be too easy.

It would be GREAT fun to see the encoding for this (personally, I'd
prefer the matrix to the graph), but as for the anonymity, it is
probably breakable with relative ease.

One thing that you would need to make any sense out of it, though, is
a list of names of all the people in IFIS who are mentioned on the
graph. (not the binding between the anonymising number and the name,
of course, just a bare list of names and the matrix, of course).

Just a thought...

Gordan

Or people could just tell each other how they feel and save a lot of
silliness.

Adam

Happy Birthday to Paul (of Bob),
Happy Birthday to Paul (of Bob),
Happy Birthday to Paul.......(of Bob),
Happy Birthday to Paul (of Bob)

Darren

On Fri, 28 Jan 2000, Cummins ARJ wrote:
Come on. That would be far too sensible and also cause more pain &
suffering. I mean - if X discovers that Y fancies them by accident, but Y
hasn't said anything, then it's not much of a problem. But if Y leaps at
X and proclaims undying love - then that'd cause a whole world of
problems. X's SO might get defensive, X might start avoiding Y...

It's all too hideous *shudder*

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

SO? please explain (don't know much these days)

Adam

On Fri, 28 Jan 2000, Cummins ARJ wrote:
Significant Other - a nice easy way of refering to the person someone is
having a relationship with.

Chris

On Thu, 27 Jan 2000, Nick Waterman wrote:
I think you've killed your own problem - an induvidual would never be able
to reliably abuse the chart, since they know damn well everyone else is
trying to abuse it too. thus making any discoveries they make uncertain at
best.

James

can we pleaseeeeee see the list, come on please 0<>0
*sulks*
STORM THE HOUSE!

Ant, what can i say ... WELL DONE *8), its a shame man-u wont win the
league this season (arsenal will win, oh yes they shall win the league).
looks, style,
oh well, leaves out most people in IFIS *8) (including me before
i get flamed)

we need more gossip, eg what happened with ...

+not all single IFIS males are sexualy frustrated *honest*

"I went to a shrink To analyze my dreams SHE says it's lack of sex
that's
bringing me down I went to a whore HE said my life's a bore So quit my
whining cause it's bringing HER down"

On Thu, 27 Jan 2000, nothing wrote:
Well I think it's unanimous(sp?) - Charlotte/Alex should bring it down
to the pub tonight so we can have a giggle at it.
Oh I don't know - there's plenty of us with at least one of those
attributes. And I'd imagine there are plenty more attributes us blokes
need too (ie money or a car).
I thought we'd decided IFIS members came in 3 sorts...

1) Those that want it and are getting it
2) Those that want it and aren't (the sexually frustrated lot)
3) Those that don't want it (and aren't getting it?)

Thankfully no-one fits under the 4th type of "don't want it but is getting
it".

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

Some of us with none (i.e. me)
THIS SHOULD BE IN CAPITAL LETTERS.

Adam

Don't bother, I wheedled out of Charlotte any connections to me. They got
who I fancy completely wrong, and nobody loves me (sniff).

Adam

i am just trying to figure out what they 'belive', should make intersting read ...

On Thu, 27 Jan 2000, Cummins ARJ wrote:
Well if she's willing to back down for one person - then everyone should
have a laff. Like I said earlier - I bet they've got most of it wrong.

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

So why tell us about it then? Now we'll have to storm your house....

Iz

I heartily concur

Adam

On Thu, 27 Jan 2000, Ruddick C wrote:
So...if all the people that people fancy, started fancing the people that
fancy them, then you're saying they'd not be single? Now that, would be
messy/confusing *8).
Not much of a secret - you just told us all about it *8).

There isn't much point seeing it now you've described it to us anyhow,
although I am curious which half of the IFIS males are meant to fancy the
other half? Or do we all just lust after Steve's hot bod.

Chris
PS Yes my logic is flawed - I'm following Ant's example *8)

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

Oh Lor!!!

Adam

I should probably apolgise. I had a migraine at the time.
----- Original Message -----
From: Chris Lyth <chris-lyth@>
To: <chat@>
Sent: Wednesday, January 26, 2000 11:59 PM
Subject: Re: MY REPOSNES TO THE WHOLE OF JANUARY'S CHAT AND MY GENERAL
THEORY ON SEX IN IFIS

Previously, Emperor Ant I said:
The scary thing is that, as a fellow economist, I understood all that. I
really am beginning to worry now...

Later,

Steve :-)
_
__
(oO)
/||\ "Economists do it with models."

On Wed, 26 Jan 2000, Anthony Beschizza wrote:
You can't have read all the emails as it was quite clearly proved that it's
next year. *8)
We did? We flamed you a couple of times, but it's mostly been discussing
the sexually frustrated IFIS males....oh I see. *8)
See.
I hate to point this out, but as far as I know, the majority of the IFIS
females _aren't_ single. There was a big flurry of pairings recently
between them and IFIS males.

It's the remaining IFIS males that are lacking partners.
You mean it isn't? Quick, lets hold an EGM and vote in a publicity officer
who doesn't know about "the outside". *8)

[A rather large of cow excrement removed]
Or....how about we just let nature take its course - I'm fairly certain that
if you put a bunch of single guys in a room with some single girls, that
_IF_ they want to get together, those that do, will.
Well the data you're basing it on is flawed - you can't use the entire IFIS
membership, as the majority of them don't attend IFIS social functions and
therefore you can't have spent any time researching statistical figures on
the male/female single/attached ratios. *8)
No - we only flame you when you send badly formatted HTML crap to IFIS
announce *8)
It smells nice. It feels nice. It comes in lovely shades of black. And
most importantly, it looks good on the females wearing it *8).
You're hardly ever around. I think James would make a much better candidate.
We've been chatting about IFIS members, which I'm fairly certain must be
within the rules. Chatting about football can't be cos
a) We hate football.
b) We hate football.
c) We hate football.
...
y) We hate football.
z) Football has nothing to do with IFIS.
This was meant to be a flame? Well I did feel a bit of hot air waft over,
but...
Too late - you have *8).
Surely you mean the Barley Mow, which is where IFIS now spends Thursdays?

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

To whit, me.
I know, I'm one of them and it's getting very depressing
True indeed.

Adam

Top form!
http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

Anthony Beschizza said:
[nearly 150 lines of quote snipped]

1-line reply, (1 VERY SHORT line at that) and nearly 150 lines of quoted
stuff. Wasn't it you who was recently saying you'd not broken any of the
rules of ifis chat?

PLEASE people, try to snip your quotes a bit. It is GOOD to leave a bit of
context, but it is NOT good to quote more than you say yourself, let alone
hundreds of times more.

---

Nick Waterman. Senior Systems Administrator, Sony Interactive Services
mailto:nick-sig@ http://www.nilex.co.uk/~nick/
AX25:G7RZQ@#32.GBR.EU #include <stddisclaimer> Team *AMIGA*!
The world's as ugly as sin, And almost as delightful

Oh dear, that counts me out then
In what context.
Erm.........
Oh dear.

Adam

Anthony Beschizza said:
... of course now, many moons later, we've all forgotten what on earth
you're talking about.
IFIS may not be "the universe", but it's very clearly - undoubtably - the
CENTRE of the universe.
1/5 to 1/2 - contravercial!
Finite? FINITE? Clearly your biggest mistake. You forgot that IFIS is for
life! :-)
you're not open to flames from girls too? ;-)
If this is pissing people off at all, I could create a gossip@
mailing-list and we could then decide what counts as "announce", what counts
as "chat", and what counts as "gossip"?
Hmm?
It looks as though you CAN say (or type) bollocks, in fact you seem to be
very good at typing bollocks, but you can't spell "flamming" ;-)
(time for a "peasants are revolting" joke?)

---

Nick Waterman. Senior Systems Administrator, Sony Interactive Services
mailto:nick-sig@ http://www.nilex.co.uk/~nick/
AX25:G7RZQ@#32.GBR.EU #include <stddisclaimer> Team *AMIGA*!
Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

Nick Waterman wrote:
Okay Nick spill the beans, how many IFIS members are immortal?

Darren

I am Bob McBob of the clan McBob and there can be only one!

or at least 6 immortal IFIS members in this case...

Paul.

"Ilsley, Paul G" wrote:
But how did Nick find out.

Darren

P.S.

As Furthest-North Bob, I claim the right to be Hardest Bob
as I'm braving worse weather than the rest of you.
Any one who says otherwise must walk up here without
stopping and challenge me to unarmed combat the instant
he arrives (I might win that way).

Darren Snee wrote:
Good question. I have long suspected that Nick was a plant
by the NWO to keep an eye on us, but until now had no proof.
But by that logic, I'm the Softest Bob, as I was farthest
south last week in sunny, hot Tenerife.

Smeg.

Adam (Bob 2 of 6)

Good point. Maybe we should threaten to "big-bird" him unless he
reveals his source ;-)
It's bloody cold down here too! Thank Bob for Heated Windscreens.
I nominate Adam Bob as Hardest Bob for being able to survive in
the same house as Stephens snoring.

Ob. sci-fi:

Anyone have any comments (with suitable spoiler protection) on
Peter FF Hamilton's Night's Dawn Trilogy ? Despite the
StartTrek-like ending I reckon it is probably the best bit of
space opera since Dune.

Cheers,

Paul

Still reading the first one... got a way to go yet, but this far in it
looks good... And it's substantial enough to last me for a while too...

---

Adrian Long / Eggwhite / Jacobine
http://www.subliminal.demon.co.uk/
http://www.brunel.ac.uk/~dtpgaml/

I'll comment on Monday. I'm about 200 pages short of the last
book. (Well and about half a book of short stories in the same
universe).
Oh that's right. Completely spoil it for me why don't you!
Well I never particularly rated Dune - but I am rather enjoying
Night's Dawn. Some lovely technology idea's and uses.

I am a little dubious about the broadband affinity communication,
(effectively telepathy) being as affinity supposedly works through
quantumn entanglement. I can see how you would set that up
point to point, but not in some kind of general area network.

Perhaps some of the physics chaps would care to comment?

Adam (Bob 2 of 6)

Well if your only 200 pages short you must have realised that
it's not going to be a complicated or detailed ending as there
aren't enough pages left (Which is exactly the conclusion I came
to with about 200 pages left).
I love the edenist culture, probably a more stable and idealist
society than Bank's Culture.
This is explained in a bit more detail in the "Second chance at Eden"
short story (from the book of the same name). The original affinity
worked only in unique quantum pairings but then got expanded to
the broadband affinity but he is very vague about how. Mainly,
however, the tech is quite plausible.

Cheers,

Paul

"Ilsley, Paul G" wrote:
I'd say that Ian Bank's books are probably a better comparison
than Dune. Similar style - British!
Yeah, as I said, I'm about half way through those. I thought the
Beast Baiting one was particularly good! (It's always difficult
to describe short stories without spoiling them).
Yeah, that's what I was talking about. Also Broadband seems to
have a limited range, which seems strange.
Pretty much. I can certainly see the direct affinity stuff working
eventually.

Adam (Bob 2 of 6)

[snip something]
I thought the first two dunes were very good (can anyone recommend any
of the ones after that?).
Is this the guy that writes similar to EE Doc Smith?

---

awright@
Abstainer, n.:
A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
pleasure. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
<END>

3rd one is good, 4th is good but drags on a bit.
5th and 6th are very good.

None come close to the first one however.

I got the prequel, recently written by Herbert's son for Christmas.
It's set on Caladan and it supposed to describe the rise of House
Atriedes pre Dune. I'll let you know if it's any good when I
actually get round to reading it!

Cheers,

Paul.

On Thu, 27 Jan 2000, Ilsley, Paul G wrote:
Unfortunately you can't really skip any of them as the plot runs right the
way through.

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

A Time Lord has thirteen lives and can last anything up to about 2-3000
years. It's not immortal but it's still a bloody long time.

Especially when you're single.

Adam.

On Thu, 27 Jan 2000, Cummins ARJ wrote:
But is the Doctor single? I mean, come on - all those beautiful young
female assistants. Who knows what they get up to in the TARDIS. *8)

They probably can't resist his sonic screwdriver.

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

Not to mention the ability to have certain things bigger on the
inside than out.

Adam (Bob 2 of 6)

I'm forced at this point to mention the fluffed line which was meant to be
"Susan fetch the fault-locator"

Guesses at what poor William Hartnell actually said are allowed....

Numerous innuendos and sexual references are covered in both the
Discontinuity Guide and Completely Useless Encyclopaedia.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You mean "the fornicator"?

What's your opinion on the Lungabarrow loom theory then?

Adam

You'll find out if you watch Rowan Atkinson's Doctor Who tonight.
Oh thank you and goodnight. There's a variation on that gag in it as well.

Unfortunately the chat up line "would you like to see my Sonic Screwdriver?"
doesn't work.

Nor does "I have two hearts, would you like to find out what else I have two
of?"

Or the one about Dalek bumps (for ladies).

Not to mention the ability to have certain things bigger on the
inside than out.

How the bloody hell can that be put in a sexual context??

Adam

The innocence of youth .....

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Thank you, thank you very much for nothing. I'm off to the seminary to take
vows now then.

Adam

Cummins ARJ wrote:
Practise.

But it's mainly in the tone of voice and the eyebrows.

Other Adam

For life is finite I'm afraid Nick.

However there was provision for dead members voting rights in the old LM
rules....

Philip

<END>