University computers very recently. It was first spotted by the Department
of Computer Science, who kept the DCS students informed via email. Then they
email. With this in mind it really isn't surprise that the students are
ready to believe emails warning about computer viruses. I quite understand
your griping about chain mail, I get enough of it myself. But a non-DCS,
one. Jenny was just trying to be helpful, there was no way she deserved that
kind of obliteration. She had no way of knowing it was a hoax, and you had
intended).
----------
From: Nick Waterman[SMTP:nick@]
Reply To: chat@
Sent: 05 February 1999 13:02
To: chat@
Subject: Re: FW: Urgent - Virus Warning
Lyon J said:
Subject: Virus Warning
If you receive an email titled "It Takes Guts to Say 'Jesus'" DO NOT"
=
open it. It will erase everything on your hard drive. Forward this =
letter out to as many people as you can. This is a new, very
malicious =
virus and not many people know about it.
JESUS, I don't believe it. Only yesterday the daily telegraph ran an
article about virus hoaxes.
THIS VIRUS IS NOT REAL. The VIRUS WARNING is basically just a really
crap chain-letter, which ITSELF is like a virus that's spread by the
ignorance of people who assume it to be a genuine warning. This
"warning" wastes valuable disk space and network bandwidth. Does that
make the warning itself count as a virus? It's a descendent of the
original "Good Times" virus hoax.
Please check some of the following sites:
http://www.nai.com/services/support/hoax/hoax.asp
http://www.av.ibm.net
http://www.virusbtn.com
I quite like this piss-take myself...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NEW VIRUS WARNING!
If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is THE most dangerous Email virus
yet.
It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but:
It will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer
It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream melts and milk curdles
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards
Reprogram your ATM access code
Screw up the tracking on your VCR
Use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.
It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee
table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work
It will interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while
stuck in traffic.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all
while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing
their
hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such
is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those
things we hold most dear.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
pillows, and refill your skimmed milk with whole.
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
These are just a few signs.
Be very, very afraid.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
There's also a very nice combination of a large number of internet
hoaxes...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
to save you all some time.....
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So
anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub
and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the
tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his
mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone because it
was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that
would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the
crew!"
He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer
who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000
rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the
computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus cookie recipe
under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I read it all last week in
a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free
Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone
I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with
an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome
to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually,
where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish
is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I
sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the
shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will
have good luck but ten people you will only have OK luck and if you send
it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To be
helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a
gang initiation.
And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused
the Dark Ages.
Please forward this to everybody you know who is stupid enough to
believe any of it.
--
Nick Waterman. Network Consultant / Sysadmin - LEOnet
nick-sig@ Team *AMIGA*!
Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner.
