Cheers to Matt for these..
It has been confirmed that Samuel L Jackson is playing a Jedi Master in
the
new Star Wars prequels. The TOP 14 things we want to hear Samuel L.
Jackson's character 'Jedi Master Mace Windu' say in the Star Wars
prequels.
14. You can stick your well-laid Death Star plans up your well-laid ass.
13. You must go to Dagobah, where you will be taught by Yoda, the
sly,sweet
mother fucker who taught me this shit.
12. Thats no moon, asshole - thats a f****ing space station!
11. I don't care how good you say they are. I ain't fightin' alongside
no
fuck-ass teddy bears.
10. You don't need to see my goddamn identification, 'cause these ain't
the
motherfuckin' droids you're looking for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause
even
if it did I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.
8. This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively,
have
to kill every motherfuckin' stormtrooper in the room... accept no
substitutes.
7. If Obi-wan ain't home then I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do.
I
ain't got no other connections on Tattooine.
6. Feel the Force, motherfucker.
5. What ain't no planet I've ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on
What?
4. You sendin' the Fett? Shit, Hutt, that's all you had to say!
3. Yeah Chewie Rocky Horror's got a hair problem. What the brother gonna
do? He's a wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?
1. Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says, 'Bad Mother Fucker.'
THE TOP TEN SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE LINES IN THE STAR WARS TRILOGY
STAR WARS
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in
time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess....."
3. "Look at the size of that thing"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough"
1. "She may not look much, but she's got it where it counts, kid"
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me"
9. "Size Matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here"
7. "But now we must eat, Cum, good food, Cumm...."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden rod"
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up
like
that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came through the south entrance"
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
RETURN OF THE JEDI
10. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
9. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me
master."
8. "I never knew I had it in me"
7. "There's good in him, I've felt it."
6. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping-hold on. Grab it, almost.....you
almost
got it. gently now, all right, easy, hold me Chewie."
5. "Hey Luke, thanks for coming after me - now I owe you one."
4. "Back door, huh? Good idea."
3. "She's gonna blow!"
2. "I think you'll fit in nicely."
1. "Rise my friend."
and there's more...
Actually the message lies about the new stuff on the end.....
LE
It has been confirmed that Samuel L Jackson is playing a Jedi Master in
the
new Star Wars prequels. The TOP 14 things we want to hear Samuel L.
Jackson's character 'Jedi Master Mace Windu' say in the Star Wars
prequels.
14. You can stick your well-laid Death Star plans up your well-laid ass.
13. You must go to Dagobah, where you will be taught by Yoda, the
sly,sweet
mother fucker who taught me this shit.
12. Thats no moon, asshole - thats a f****ing space station!
11. I don't care how good you say they are. I ain't fightin' alongside
no
fuck-ass teddy bears.
10. You don't need to see my goddamn identification, 'cause these ain't
the
motherfuckin' droids you're looking for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause
even
if it did I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.
8. This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively,
have
to kill every motherfuckin' stormtrooper in the room... accept no
substitutes.
7. If Obi-wan ain't home then I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do.
I
ain't got no other connections on Tattooine.
6. Feel the Force, motherfucker.
5. What ain't no planet I've ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on
What?
4. You sendin' the Fett? Shit, Hutt, that's all you had to say!
3. Yeah Chewie Rocky Horror's got a hair problem. What the brother gonna
do? He's a wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?
1. Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says, 'Bad Mother Fucker.'
THE TOP TEN SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE LINES IN THE STAR WARS TRILOGY
STAR WARS
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in
time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess....."
3. "Look at the size of that thing"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough"
1. "She may not look much, but she's got it where it counts, kid"
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me"
9. "Size Matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here"
7. "But now we must eat, Cum, good food, Cumm...."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden rod"
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up
like
that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came through the south entrance"
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
RETURN OF THE JEDI
10. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
9. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me
master."
8. "I never knew I had it in me"
7. "There's good in him, I've felt it."
6. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping-hold on. Grab it, almost.....you
almost
got it. gently now, all right, easy, hold me Chewie."
5. "Hey Luke, thanks for coming after me - now I owe you one."
4. "Back door, huh? Good idea."
3. "She's gonna blow!"
2. "I think you'll fit in nicely."
1. "Rise my friend."
and there's more...
Actually the message lies about the new stuff on the end.....
LE