DR SEUSS THE TREKKIE
If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
By Dave Fuller
Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days 'til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?
Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline
Picard: Offline But why? I want to go
Please make it so, please make it so
Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great
Picard: But surely we must not be late
Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Computer: Alert Alert The ship's on fire
Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Riker: Not me...
Worf: Not me
Picard: Computer, how long 'til we die?
Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data: May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...
Geordi: Hurray Hurray You've saved the day
Again I say, Hurray Hurray
Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi: We still must save the Indran planet --
Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite...
Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please make it so, PLEASE make it so.
Geordi: There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.
Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no
We need to go We need to go
Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?
Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us "
I can't just sit and let them die
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try
Picard: Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
* COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK *
* HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE? *
Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip A zzzap Another one
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend
Our troubles now are at an end
Crusher: Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky
Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go---
Geordi: Yes, sir, we can...
Picard: Then make it so
Adam Hattrell, Support, Cimio Ltd. adam@
If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
By Dave Fuller
Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days 'til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?
Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline
Picard: Offline But why? I want to go
Please make it so, please make it so
Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great
Picard: But surely we must not be late
Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Computer: Alert Alert The ship's on fire
Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Riker: Not me...
Worf: Not me
Picard: Computer, how long 'til we die?
Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data: May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...
Geordi: Hurray Hurray You've saved the day
Again I say, Hurray Hurray
Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi: We still must save the Indran planet --
Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite...
Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please make it so, PLEASE make it so.
Geordi: There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.
Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no
We need to go We need to go
Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?
Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us "
I can't just sit and let them die
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try
Picard: Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
* COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK *
* HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE? *
Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip A zzzap Another one
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend
Our troubles now are at an end
Crusher: Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky
Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go---
Geordi: Yes, sir, we can...
Picard: Then make it so
Adam Hattrell, Support, Cimio Ltd. adam@