Werewolves live among us today, but unless you know what to look for, they
are impossible to identify. Except when they're suffering an attack of the
rare illness that turns them into crazed beasts, they look like any of your
friends or neighbours, experts say. Dr. Werner Bokelman, an Austrian
anthropologist who studied werewolves for 30 years, has developed a test to
help identify the werewolves among us. Here's how he says you can tell if
your friend or neighbour is a werewolf:
Does he smell like a mixture of stale hay and horse manure? Werewolves have
extra glands that emit nasty smells.
Does he have eyebrows that meet in the middle of his forehead? Doctors in
Denmark say that's a certain sign of the beast. Werewolves' arms, legs, and
bodies are extremely hairy, especially the backs of their hands and the tops
of their feet.
Does a neighbour's child seem unusually attracted to little girls by the age
of 7 or 8? Werewolves reach sexual maturity at that age -- five years ahead
of normal humans.
Is the ring finger on both of his hands longer than the middle finger?
Experts say a long ring finger is a sure sign a person is a werewolf.
Does he own large pets that often disappear and then are replaced by other
large pets? Werewolves have enormous appetites and like to sink their fangs
into large, fleshy animals. It would take 100 chickens a week, for example,
to satisfy the average werewolf.
Do you hear strange howling and moaning in the neighborhood when there is a
full moon and no dogs around? If so, you are living close to a werewolf.
Does his skin slowly change color? It takes a few hours for a werewolf to
change from human to animal form. The first sign is a gradual darkening of
the skin.
Does he wander around graveyards, mortuaries or turn up at the scene of
fatal accidents? Corpses are a ready source of nourishment for young
werewolves.
Is his blood bluish red and his urine a deep purple? If you can trust
yourself to be alone with a suspected werewolf in the daytime, try to find
out without being too obvious. Following him into a men's room might be a
good idea, but be careful.
Chris Lyth (Clyth@)
All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly
auriferous.