Cheese

Imagine making a woman out of cheese....think of the possibilities....!

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000 10:52:49 -0000 Scrivner A
<A.Scrivner@> wrote:
Why make a woman out of cheese? Would a real one
not be better?

Emma
----------------------
Emma Sadler
E.Sadler@

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000, Emma Sadler wrote:
It depends whether or not mice eat real women? The amount of hassle of
protecting a cheese woman from mice, definitely out weighs any of the
benefits.

How about making a woman out of stone - if you keep her inside you won't
have to worry about pigeons. *8)

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000 12:57:37 +0000 (GMT) Chris Turner
<christ@> wrote:
I would say it also depends what you were thinking of using
the woman for. But stone would definately last longer than
cheese.

Emma

----------------------
Emma Sadler
E.Sadler@

eh?!?!?!? Someone please explain!!! confuuuuuused!!!

Charlotte

If you had a woman made out of cheese, then you could put pickle in her
mouth, thus enabling you to enjoy a delicious and tangy snack whilst on the
job.

Scrivner A wrote:
You know, I must be slipping. Even with all my years of Bullshiting
experience, I still can't come up with a reason why eating a woman
shaped cheese and pickles whilst on the toilet, is Sci-fi related.

Unless say, it were a recurring motif in a Philip K Dick novel,
concerning the nature of reality. Perhaps I've had my personality
programmed by the government, the IFIS list represents my
subconcious, and the cheese woman is being used by rogue personality
hackers to awaken me to the true nature of reality.

Actually it sounds a little more like Douglas Adams...

Laters,

Adam (of Bob)

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000, Emma Sadler wrote:
Well I have to admit, I've not actually got around to thinking of the
possibilities of women made of stone. They'd be useful for drying clothes
- either as somewhere to tie one of the end of the clothes line, or just
draping clothing on.

Otherwise, I can't see the need for women - what exactly are they for
anyway? *8)

Chris

---

christ@ #include <stddisclaimer.h> http://www.instituteofcorrection.org.uk/

"So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a
place of worship" - Duaine Dibley (Red Dwarf - "Back to Reality")

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000 13:38:24 +0000 (GMT) Chris Turner
<christ@> wrote:
Oh dear Chris, you think women are for drying clothes?

Emma
----------------------
Emma Sadler
E.Sadler@

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000, Emma Sadler wrote:
Nope - I think large lumps of stone (in the shape of women or otherwise)
are handy for drying clothes. I've no idea what women are for...obviously
a good candidate for (re-)educating (especially in maths *8).

Chris

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000 14:09:36 +0000 (GMT) Chris Turner
<christ@> wrote:
Maybe you could look it up in a book?

----------------------
Emma Sadler
E.Sadler@

They're the things made of paper Chris, lacking the now traditional Monitor
Screen and Keyboard ....
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000, Philip Ayres wrote:
Ah....so thats what is propping up my desk. You'll be telling me
next, these long thin bits of plastic are used for typing on paper next.

Chris, who surprisingly passed GCSE English....on the 2nd attempt. *8)

Chris Turner wrote:
oh dear.... somebody please educate the poor thing!

Emma

Monitor
The only time I pick up a bit of pencil to write (yes that's what the skill
is called Chris) is a brief note. My handwriting was never good, and it's
got to the point where it hurts to write more than a few words :-(

Emma: How did a UEA student wander in ? Not that we're not pleased to see
you ...

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

-----Original Message-----
To : chat@
Date : 21 February 2000 15:39:06
Subject : Re: Cheese
Your all seem to have missed the point imagine a woman made of chesse, what chesse bree would get my vote.....
The dreamer

-------------------------------------------------------
Make a name for yourself @ http://www.another.com

Or May be I am missing the point, imagine a woman with satin skin and hair of velvet

The dreamer

---------------------------------------------------------------
Don't be one of the herd. Be heard. http://www.another.com
for free email addresses which stand out from the crowd.

I_Am_Just@ wrote:
Bit difficult to keep clean, although I suppose no more
difficult than cheese.

What sparked off all these women of unusual materials?
We're not back on genetic manipulation again are we?

Darren

skill
it's
see
what chesse bree would get my vote.....
Nah that was the point some while ago. An opportunity to use Adamsesque
quotes on old fashioned paper arose and we took it.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Allow me to perform the introductions; Ladies and Gentlemen of IFIS, this is
my good friend Emma J. Sadler, whom I have known for more years than I
remember. Kind, talented, intelligent, witty and stunningly beautiful, I
thought she would make a delightful addition to IFIS chat, so I gave her the
address of the IFIS website and invited her to join. By doing so, she graces
us all with her presence.

Emma, this bunch of Rabid Loonies is collectively known as IFIS. Take 'em or
leave 'em, and if you had any sense at all you'd run away screaming at the
mere mention of the name.

There, that should cover it. A request to everyone; be gentle with her...

Ron

It might be a nice idea to talk a bit less surreal sex fantasies and a bit
more SF for the poor woman - she might find it easier to follow. This list's
been really weird for the last month or two, and not in a good way.

Dominic

There are two things you need to know for a full and happy life:
1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
2)

list's
You're not the only one who's noticed it. Stuff has been wandering waaaay
O/T. And that's without us conducting a flame war on what's winding us up
at that moment in time.

Traffic's been well up too - sometimes with replies to several mails in the
same thread all at once. You could edit them together ? ?
The old jokes are the best - though this does look like a rehash of "2
things happen when you get old: 1 you loose your memory and I've forgotton
what the second thing is"

BTW The Starfleet tapes are done - knocked them out while I was copying
Transformers the Movie for someone this afternoon. Can the persons
interested lmk how to get their tapes to them (Charlotte - I'll give yours
to Chris L when I give him the Buffy/Dilbert/Dr Who/Futurama on Saturday)

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Philip Ayres
payres@
www.netcomuk.co.uk/~payres
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hi Emma, welcome to our esteemed company. Nice to have you with us. Just
ignore what Ron said. We're not all raving loonies, only the amatures
(excuse sp.) amongst us.:-)

Kerry

On Tue, 29 Feb 2000 12:52:02 -0000 Drummond K
<K.Drummond@> wrote:
Thanks for the welcome, I could ignore Ron, but as
he knows where I live (I think), I will be nice to
him, you never know when he could turn nasty....
----------------------
Emma Sadler
E.Sadler@

Ignore what I said??? After I said all those nice things about you??? I'm
hurt, I really am. I'm going to go and stand in the corner and compose bad
poetry about the cruelty of man to man (or women to man in this case) and
the injustness of it all. And then I'll post it on IFIS chat!!! Revenge is
sweet!

#>$-[

Don't worry Emma, I'll keep him in line. If he threatens you in any way,
just let me know. It'll be my pleasure to intervene (with my talons).
After all, I know where _he_ lives, and I'm a lot closer than you are at the
moment.

You also know certain operations, don't you dear, though i wouldn't advise
carrying them out with your teeth as you suggested this afternoon...

Adam