In article <8EE7845D871BD311B0E900E0292A08264E8E41@>, Ruddick C <C.Ruddick@> wrote:
Somebody wrote - can we keep those attributions, please, people?
You can all thank 'Dreamer' for this one. Is there really such a
thing as real, true, everlasting (blah, blah, blah) love?
Yes. Or at least a good enough approximation. I fell in love with a girl
in 1985, and came to Egham to persuade her to go for it. After about six
months persuasion she agreed. Now, fifteen years later, we are still
together, and, in the words of Tom Lehrer, "still in love with each other".
It's unusual, mind, and there's a significant amount of hard work and
determination in there. But it's worth it.
Love is REALLY REALLY PANTS!!! It only makes you depressed. As the
Love Chart of Doom shows, if you love someone, there is an approximately 95%
chance that they don't love you (or even fancy you) back.
I suspect that it actually shows that they probably don't put you as Number
One. But that's not the same thing, and sometimes Number Two can turn out
to be better when it actually comes down to a relationship. Content and
labelling are not the same thing, and you can't tell 'til you unwrap it.
If you fancy someone, and you discover when you try it that you can really
live together happily, who cares about Number One? Their loss.
That's why everyone's so miserable at the moment!! Mega sexual
frustration!!!!!
As someone else pointed out, it's possible to fancy more than one person at
once. It is also possible to be in love with more than one person at once,
at least for me. I've already commented on being in love with two of you -
and on the idea that unrequited love in due course shrivels up and dies.
But fancy? I would have thought that well over 50% of
IFIS ladies are
thoroughly fancyable - including you, noble Chairman. This years crop are
absolutely gorgeous, if you want the scandalous truth.
(I can't comment on the gentlemen - I'm well off one end of the Kinsey
scale. The HornyScope registers hardly a flicker. It's not calibrated for
that. Sorry.)
What also happens, sometimes, (including the case of the lady in 1985) is
that we discover that someone who we can fancy is in love with us. So we say
"oh, let's try it and see how it works out". And sometimes it works out
really well - love has a habit of being infectious, if you let it.
Put simply, having someone who you fancy coming and saying "I love you" (or
even "what say we...") can be a great help in the falling in love game.
And when the person who you love says "yes" ... now that is something that
has to be experienced to be believed. But it's worth it.
Jenny's encouraging me to add that, even if the object of your affections
says "no", as long as they don't say "no, you're repellent, and I'd cross
oceans to avoid you if you were the last person on Earth" it's still not
that bad. I imagine that it is possible to ask without being intimidating
or seeming to expect the person to give a particular answer. And I imagine
that most people here are polite enough to be gentle with each others'
hearts.
As we say on uk.people.polyamorous, there are three 'C's to a successful
relationship. They are Communication, Communication, and would you believe,
Communication.
So communicate.
Simon
---
"This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind" -Ecclesiastes 4:16
simon@ | Not affiliated to any religion
simon@ | Not affiliated to any politics
H (+44/0)1784 431998 | Not affiliated to any ideology
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